How Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type Affects Your Parenting Style
Have you ever wondered how you are like as a parent based on your personality type? Read on for insights to your Myers-Briggs parent child relationship.
To put it simply, there are two kinds of people that exist: one that believes in horoscopes—or at least acknowledges it—and the other, who simply brushes it off as pseudo science.
If you happen to fall within the former category, you probably would have heard of or explored further about your own Myers-Briggs personality type.
In case you haven’t heard of the Myers-Briggs personality type, it is a self-report inventory based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), designed to not only help individuals identify their personality type, but also their strengths and weaknesses, how they fare in romantic relationships, career paths, and parenthood amongst many others.
While these results cannot speak the same for every individual, we can’t deny the rush that comes with identifying with certain characteristics each personality type describes.
True or not, here’s a great place to get started if you’re looking to improve your parent-child relationship, or simply to glean some insights in the way you parent. You might even think to yourself how eerily accurate the results are.
If you haven’t taken the test yet, you can take it here.
Myers Briggs Parent Child Relationship: The Kind Of Parent You Are Based On Personality Types
However, it is to be taken into consideration that each personality type comes with a whole set of wins and challenges. There is no one type that is better than the other. Likewise for parenting, there is no one-size-fits-all option.
What does being an ISTJ parent tell you? You are critical, decisive, organised and efficient—and you never take your role as a parent lightly.
Fired with integrity, practical logic and tireless dedication, this applies to how you parent your kids as well. But when it comes to parenting, know that it is not always going to be a straight road. There will be twists and turns. You love your child fiercely, however your child might not be able to recognise your tough love as it is.
Whether it is from a place of fear or love, in the event you find yourself in situations where you are tightly controlling your kids, remember this: rather than correcting your child, it could unknowingly lead to problems such as a lack of independence, shame, inflexibility, aggression with peers, to name a few.
Parenting tip for ISTJ parents:
Children do better than you think with structure, routines and clear expectations. So go ahead and do that but also incorporate flexibility. Your child loses his/her homework? Forgets his/her manners while burping loudly in a restaurant? It’s a learning process, help him/her correct that but don’t let that unsettle you both.
Warmth and care comes naturally to you. Parenting? You’ve got this, even if you think you’re not doing it right.
Your parenting approach comes from a place of wanting to ensure a safe and stable environment, filled with love, care and support for your child. It also helps greatly that you are patient towards your child while he/she learns how to test the waters. This is a time when your child is learning how to assert his/her independence.
What you might not realise is that with this newfound independence, he/she could reject this seemingly overbearing love and support that you give. Your good intentions could come off as ‘controlling’ and make your little one feel he/she has no say in his/her life.
Parenting tip for ISFJ parents:
While it is definitely an uphill task to be firm when your child displays disobedience, it helps to strike a balance between teaching clear and reasonable boundaries and values, while allowing him/her the freedom to grow and develop on his/her own.
If you are an INFJ parent, you probably feel everything deep down your bones. That’s how you are: sensitive and intense (and you know it well yourself).
That is only because you care—a little too much in fact—but amidst it all, you strive to make sure that your child grows up with a firm understanding of knowing the difference between right and wrong.
Holding a quiet perseverance even through tough times, you never quit until you’ve given it your all, traits that your child will be lucky to inherit over exposure. You utilise your creative gifts to raise children who are ethical, creative, and kind.
Parenting tip for INFJ parents:
As your child grows, you will likely try to project a great deal of your own beliefs onto them, whether intentional or not. While you might demand the same sort of integrity and honesty as you would to yourself, because it is an integral part of you, know that your child is still his/her own person.
It is important to help direct your child towards thinking independently. Teach them to make his/her own choices and develop his/her own beliefs. Allow room for mistakes, and always talk about it.
When it comes to parenthood, it can be challenging for an INTJ parent who is not always prepared to deal with people (ie. children) who have yet to develop similar abilities such as logical reasoning (as someone devoted to rational thought).
An INTJ parent, you might also face troubles displaying affection towards your child, sometimes carelessly stepping on his/her feelings to make sense of your own.
However, you see something as meaningful as parenthood akin to a lifelong project and you will work tirelessly to commit to it.
Parenting tip for INTJ parents:
“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think,” according to 16personalities.com. When it comes to children, the best solution to his/her problem could be simply sitting together as he/she explores his/her feelings.
It helps to remember that even less sensitive children need emotional support occasionally, and especially true of adolescents.
With a thirst for a challenge and adventure, your decision to raise children is probably the biggest adventure of them all, if you don’t already agree.
You are experimental by nature, and the same goes with the way you parent! Exploring, creating, and experiencing things through trial and error and first-hand experience with your child is probably one of the best things for you to imparting your knowledge and for shared learning. All while expect that your child will use his/her freedom wisely.
Parenting tip for ISTP parents:
While enjoyment is a huge factor in your parent-child relationship, you struggle with emotional bonding. It helps if you are able to rely on a more able partner who can balance out that aspect and help your child learn emotional control.
Otherwise, you will need to put in a lot of conscious effort to provide the emotional understanding and support your child needs.
Known to exude natural warmth, practicality and a relaxed nature, did you also know that the ISFP personality type is the one personality type that’s prone to parental burnout?
You read that right. Patient and self-sacrificing, you are loyal, compassionate and helpful to a fault. Your children can always count on you to offer exciting activities and fun hands-on activities. On the flip side, long-term planning such as saving for your child’s college education could pose a challenge for you. It would help if your partner is well-equipped with it.
Parenting tip for ISFP parents:
Learn how to say ‘NO’. Whether it’s to more extra-curricular activities, being the one to organise all office gatherings to even your kids sometimes. Yes, trust us that you will find yourself happier and healthier. It’s all about setting boundaries and making choices without having to sacrifice your sanity.
Nothing more of a true idealist that an INFP. If you’re a parent with an INFP personality type, you may often find yourself mediating disputes between your children. You give your child the freedom to learn, explore and grow, while letting your child gain his/her own sense of understanding.
The best part of all, you never stop encouraging your child, using sensitivity and intuition—all while leading the way yourself.
Parenting tip for INFP parents:
You do experience trouble with self-doubt than most. It will greatly help if you are able to find effective ways to establish practical and day-to-day structure and rules for your child. This way, you don’t have to fear about conflict or misunderstandings between you and your child.
A devoted, but not in the traditionally and emotionally supportive sense: think school, followed by career, marriage, securing a house, kids, then retirement. Not that.
If you are an INTP parent, you would be committed towards encouraging your child to think and act independently. There’s nothing more than the thirst for new knowledge and your child’s ability to defend his/her own opinion that leaves you feeling prouder than ever as a parent.
Parenting tip for INTP parents:
It would turn things around a whole lot for your child to teach empathy alongside rationality. Doing so helps your child to knowing how to ask questions, use his/her minds and know how to take care of him/herself no matter what may come his/her way.
‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ perfectly sums up the way you parent. You give your child the freedom to think and make judgements for him/herself. And most importantly, you teach him/her to follow his/her own heart.
Parenting tip for ESTP parents:
As frank as you can be, it isn’t always the best solution especially with more sensitive children. It helps to form healthy bonds through shared activities (identify what your child’s interests are and work towards that) to bridge this parent-child gap.
Is sleep deprivation even in your dictionary?! ESFP parent, you are no doubt one of the most fun-loving parents out there: energetic and socially driven with a friendly, caring and expressive nature. Best of all, you genuinely enjoy spending time with your kids, going all out to engage in hands-on activities with them.
You aren’t big on overbearing structures and tightly scheduled activities, preferring to take a day by day approach.
Parenting tip for ESFP parents:
With all the fun that happens in your life, it does not hurt to gently ‘remind’ your child that he/she is at the top of your list.
Highly idealistic, it can be easy for an ENFP parent for you to get your heads in the clouds. You are imaginative, creative, warm and playful. Your kids can’t help but feel safe and secure in your presence.
You encourage play and growth by suggesting activities and lessons for your child while trusting that they will do well with limited guidance—that’s how you do it. As someone relatively soft-hearted, you might even find it difficult to establish structures and limitations with your child, so it helps to have someone who can fulfill that role.
Parenting tip for ENFP parents:
Organisation is something you struggle with, if you don’t already realise that. But that’s not saying that you can’t do anything about it. Get a bullet journal; stick post-its on your fridge; set reminders on your phone.
Helping your child to foster an independent mind is probably one of the greatest thing that comes with parenthood as an ENTP parent. You also teach your child to approach his/her thoughts and feelings towards a more impartial and logical sense: on what’s more effective rather than the ‘feel good’ sensation.
Although you tend to be easily restless, you take on this parenting challenge with gusto and deeply believe that you are teaching your child to make a difference in this world.
Parenting tip for ENTP parents:
Don’t be afraid to seek your partner’s help or someone close to you when it comes to managing emotional outbursts and arguments.
You like taking charge. Being organised and assertive is your second nature. Does that sound like you, ESTJ parent?
Your decisive, results-oriented and no nonsense ways are apparent from the way you parent your child: you never tolerate insubordination. Your child is expected to contribute in his/her own ways. It is all about maintaining the order of things, whether it is by your child cleaning his/her own plates or rooms, and going to bed on time.
Parenting tip for ESTJ parents:
Really, don’t miss out on the fun while you work on being the exceptional parent that you are. It also helps to be a little more flexible with the kids and don’t forget to hug them whenever you can!
An ESFJ parent is able to establish rules and authority without overwhelming their child. Compassion and support is always the basis to tackling miscommunication or differences in opinion.
Your love and care grows together with your children as they learn to step out of their comfort zone and explore further. You also tend to try and meet your child’s needs holistically from ensuring physical safety and social support, whether from arranging play dates or getting him/her involved in camp activities.
Parenting tip for ESFJ parents:
We know you take your parent-child connection very deeply. It might even feel like you are losing a part of yourself when your child eventually begin to push away from you. Try not to take it personally.
You are known to be great with keeping secrets and your friends, including your kids’ friends treat you like their confidant.
As an ENFJ parent, you take pride in nurturing and inspiring strong values in your child—and you make sure they originate from understanding rather than blind obedience.
Parenting tip for ENFJ parents:
You invest your energies into your child wholeheartedly and it can be hurtful (with your sensitive nature) to receive criticisms from your child. Be careful not to say things out of spite just because both of you are in the heat of the moment.
Down to your bones, you’re an organiser and a planner. Good report cards and a sleek, presentable outlook will leave you with a satisfying “YES”!
As an ENTJ parent, you see the success of your children as a reflection of your own personal standards. Nothing sparks greater joy than to see your child grow into a smart, independent individual who strive to achieve his/her goals.
Parenting tip for ENTJ parents:
A little flexibility goes a long way, ENTJ parent. Don’t be stuck on enforcing structure and lead to unwanted tension in the household.
It also helps to be open to listening to your child’s emotional expression–and deem them as valid. This helps to build trust and minimise emotional conflicts with your little one, super important when navigating through those otherwise rebellious teenage years.
Myers Briggs Parent Child Relationship: Other Interesting Insights
Based on a parenting report by Truity, here are some interesting insights on some parents’ personal perspectives on parenting.
INTJ Parents: An Annoying, Astounding Path to Personal Growth
“I was on the fence about kids, but a friend said I didn’t want to miss it. I prepared with my usual unswerving manner, research, parenting books, buying children’s books, the whole shebang. I thought I would be carefully molding and raising my children… I learned that children have their own little personalities and quirks. It is not at all about molding them, but a daily discovery of who this other person is.” -INTJ mother
INFP Parents: Connecting with Kindness and Sensitivity
“I am blessed because of that because painful as it is sometimes, to see something in myself I don’t like in my older son, or have some cherished belief, value or self-perception shattered by my younger son, it’s all learning. And learning about people: how they think and how they become thinkers is endless fascinating to me.” -Scott, INFP father of two
ENTJ Parents: Training the Next Generation of Achievers
“I see motherhood as more of a career. I have a strong desire to learn what is the “right” way to teach and treat my child. I think knowledge and professional skills are more important than love—that is not to say that love is not important, actually I love my son so much. But motherhood is a serious thing.” -25-year-old ENTJ mother
ENTP Parents: Enjoy the Adventure, and Don’t Sweat the Details
My parenting style as an ENTP is to have fun and experience everything in a positive way. I would have the kids help me make piñatas for their birthday parties and we always did creative things. I gave birth to two girls but rarely dressed them in dresses. My thinking was that if they fall or get dirty the pants they wore would protect their knees and they would be free to be physical. I was a feminist early on, and conflicted about being the stay home parent. -Sylvia, ENTP mother of two teenagers
Parents, we hope this article provided you with greater insights on how parenthood could be like according to your personality type. Do remember that whatever it is, you are not bounded by your own personality type as there could be similarities in the various types.
Most importantly, don’t forget to have fun in your parenting journey and simply celebrate the wins, while embracing the not-so-great moments of “failure.”. After all, isn’t parenthood just like a rollercoaster ride?
This article was inspired by a piece on Purewow.
Source: 16 personalities